I do indeed feel somewhat strange about what is going on. Sugaring has proved to be quite a different lifestyle from what I expected. Not to say it is bad, but ‘different’ is probably the best word to explain it. This kind of life makes me change my mind drastically on a regular basis. From ‘damn, I do not want to do that’ to ‘hey, this is lovely’ in a wink.
However I am currently up for going on. It is weird, it is strange, it is something I will keep in secret from most of my friends and relatives, but overall I do enjoy sugaring more than I do hate it now.
There are some major drawbacks, of course. I am not particularly fond of sleeping with some people. It is often a show-off, where I do find myself kind of toy. It is… Well, yes, there are things I do not feel very comfortable with.
On the other hand, it does provide a substantial boost to my life. In all possible means.
The current status-quo is me having an affair with some feelings involved along with dating a man, who I only see for some benefits. There is no set allowance as such, I just get something every time we meet. I am thinking about changing that to some regular basis, but have not made up my mind yet.
While the first relationship does include a touch of attraction from both sides, the latter is a mostly based on sex. Let me be fair here, regardless of the words being said, this is what it is about. There is a lot of coverage to that, but ultimately going out really means ‘look, ya all, I am going to lay her down’. And if we meet privately, there is not much talking about Shakespeare either. 🙂
There is also someone else. The guy I wrote about here and who I have seen a couple of times after that. This relationship is so far a purely platonic one, but in fact this is where I am too close to take the initiative. However, definitely not on a romantic basis (although he is the type of man I am most likely to fall for)…